Secret silence

You look at me
I run
I hide in the silence that you won't see how I really feel or the
Fear I'm desperately trying not to reveal

My heart is shaking as you begin to speak
I don't know what it's going to take for me to not retreat

Pacing back and forth trying to protect what I'm trying so hard to ignore

My heart is fragile and it will break
How do I open up and let you walk through these steel guarded gates

I'm afraid to let another in
Afraid of just talk and arrogant compliments
Afraid to be used and thrown to the curb again
Afraid of an authentic match and letting a once in a lifetime friendship begin
 Afraid of facing reality of being truly loved

The nerves racing through my mind
My thoughts are ambushed as I try to speak
Opening up is not my specialty
But I know in the end I'll be forever grateful  you chose me

As I release control and allow you to lead
I open up my heart to the reality
This may not last forever
This may cause hurt
But taking the chance with you
Will be a risk I'm glad to take