Still waiting in singlehood?

 My story begins long before this. Years ago the Lord put it very strongly on my heart to not date. He asked me if I would remain single until He brought the man He has for me. Now many hear this and question well that is all good but how do you know when it's the right one. Years went by and there were men who came in and out of my life, but I always knew none of them were the man the Lord had put on my heart. None of these others were the man the Father had shown me, and I knew it. I can say I am thankful that I never had a bunch of different men pursuing me.

I share this because I am not here to tell you how to wait. I am not here to tell you oh look at me, but rather to share my heart with so many who I know have dreamed a long time for their "right one". 

Now I grew up being told how you don't date and all the do's and don't do's, but this decision didn't come from a pulpit, but from an encounter with my heavenly Father. I was 18 years old and I was in an unhealthy relationship with a man who didn't respect me. I found myself at the altar full of regret, shame, and with tear stained eyes. This youth conference was all about sacrifice. While all the other students were preparing what they could put in the offering; I knew this was not something I could simply put in a bucket. No this was a life change which would change my life forever.

Over the years I have spent many lonely nights crying and asking God why my life had to live to such a strict standard. The level of purity He was calling me to seemed outrageous and legalistic to others, but again I knew this was for my Father; my first love. Through seasons of drought, pain, shame, and harvest I have seen the Father's faithfulness. The last several years of waiting and believing God for my future spouse have been written in such a way that through each chapter My Father is glorified more. Even in the times of great pain and no understanding His hand taught me how to trust Him, and be obedient above all. 

I have not lived this life always with purity and complete holiness, but I will tell you through mistakes I have gained an even better understanding of grace and mercy. God never intends for His children to walk in shame. No He corrects us, wipes our tears, and He heals us. Never does He leave us alone. I can say this because I have lived it! No you're right it is not easy, but it is worth it. The pursuit of the Father calling His child home to His arms is beautiful and fulfilling. No amount of alcohol or sex can touch His fulfillment. None!

There was a time when I had so many questions I told God I didn't want to hear another word about my future husband or marriage. I drowned myself in my own wounds. I blocked out the Father's voice and one day I realized I couldn't hear Him. Right in the aisle at work the tears began to flood my eyes because I knew I never want to not hear my Daddy speak to me. Immediately He spoke and from that moment I told Him even if I get to the place I don't want to hear don't stop speaking.

I understand the hurt and the pain. I do truly; for I have walked through a lot. I sympathize with wherever you are. I know there is a Father who loves you beyond measure and there is no sin to big for God to not pursue you. I promise you He is calling your name tonight and He is saying My CHILD, RETURN TO ME. You do not have to walk bound another minute. You can be free. The minute I began to listen for His voice again, then everything I was striving for and everything I was trying so hard to "stop sinning in" fell away. Do you know when you attach yourself to the Father's love there is nothing of darkness that can remain? The closer you get to Jesus the brighter His love and forgiveness shines in your life. 

I share this because I had no idea what God was about to bring into my life. Everything I had been doubting and praying over for 13 years was about to stand in front of me and tell me that I am the one. I am not just another woman who was chasing a man or trying to get someone's attention. No I was a daughter so focused on the Father that it took Him to put us face to face and admit what God was doing. My eyes were never on this man. I was so focused and I refused to be distracted by anything or anyone, and this man was in the same mindset; our hearts were completely for our first love.

God is faithful and everything you ask and everything He tells you will come to pass. He is a Father who loves and protects His children. He still has a future and a plan for you. Keep holding on because I promise you He will do it!