Letting it go..

I do not know where this road will lead me, but I am starting to feel the emotion with the decision I've made. Tomorrow I will pack up the car and move to the inner city of Chicago. I will be living around the corner to the Chicago Dream Center. The one ministry that I have longed to serve in. Now for the next 9 months I will be serving full time in and out of that very ministry. I have taken a step of faith that even I don't comprehend, but I have seen the hand of God in every detail. From the August $1000 deposit from a bank account that had barely a hundred dollars in it. I made that deposit a week before the due date. I was talking to God and I told him that I don't want my account to ever be on 0, and you know the minute I stepped out of fear and paid that deposit, there was already donations coming in. I've had many talks with Papa and I told him that I will continue to step out and walk as long as he meets me. If I know that I am walking towards him then I know I can do anything. I do not have a job and I am resting on the support of God's chosen. I do not know when the finances will come in, but he has shown me they will. You see I am not a person who likes asking people for money, or for help. Normally when I get to the point of asking for help it is because I have already tried to figure things out, and I really do need assistance. I am use to asking and getting turned down. The Lord spoke to me several weeks ago and told me that I am use to being disappointed, but No More. He spoke to me about resting in him and believing what he says; he will do. He told me that he has so much for me. I believe these words and I believe he is restoring many things in my life. I took my car in today for scarp metal. I chose early on after being accepted in to CMC that I would give up my car to raise money for tuition. I have to say it was not an easy thing to do. I do not know exactly what I am walking in to, or the details of what is a head. As I sat there in front of the high school football field I realized how much was taken from me in high school, and I felt as though Papa was telling me; he's restoring it all. I have dreamed about going to Bible College since 2007 and now 2014 I am a college student. He has been reminding me of the dreams he once put on my heart. The one thing I have wanted to do most is work in the church; full time ministry, now I know your every day job right where you're at is your ministry, but God has put something deeper in my heart. 2007 I walked away from an ungodly relationship while working at a Bible camp. I laid down my singleness and the Lord asked me if I was willing to lay down being pursued. Would you seek after me? Allow me to break you, and remold you in to the woman that I have called for you to be, and not pursue anything for a least a year? I said yes and you know God is still molding me, but he is taking me back to that same camp. He's taking me back to a a camp where I left with not such a good reputation because ones lies, but he's restored and given me a new name. He's taking me back to the summer where the altar was filled with thousands of teenagers receiving the call to missions and full - time ministry. I remember the moment clearly. The pastor was starting to ask if the Lord is moving in your heart, and if you believe he's calling you; right there my bottom was jumping out of my seat. I was running to that altar because I knew that I knew what God had spoken to my heart since I was 16. Now here I am after many years of learning how to hear his voice, and believing for many different things here is my time. My purity, my singleness, my ministry, and my heart. My relationship with my groom is about to go deeper then I have ever imagined. I may often feel alone, but I know that He is with me. I know he has great and mighty plans for me. I know I am his bride, his daughter, and I am His. Everything I need is in his hands. He's already provided for me. I am excited to share this journey with all of you, and those of you who don't know my testimony please look back on some of my older posts, and you will see this is not just an average college kid finally going to school. This is so much more! God's More!