Giving up Boaz

Growing up in the church we are taught to wait for our future husband's and wives. We automatically are taught that there is someone specifically created for us. I believe especially for young woman we take and hold that dream and promise so tightly. We believe Mr. Right will appear and sweep us off our feet and the fairy tale ends.

What happens when reality sets in? What happens when you're turning 25 and your husband hasn't come, or the perfect woman hasn't stepped in to your life? What happens when you believe in your heart and you hold on with all your faith because you believe God's told you who you'll marry. What happens when that relationship doesn't happen the way you expected? 

We set our hopes and eyes on this perfect love story, this perfect partner, and we loose sight of what's really important. We allow ourselves to be mistreated because we get so impatient in waiting when in reality the whole waiting season is a time of preparation. Waiting is not to discourage you, or make you depressed. Waiting is not a time to get mad at God for no bringing your plans to life. Waiting is a time to check your heart and prepare you to be that future man or woman your future spouse will need. Relationships are selfless. Relationships are 100% verses 100% what you and your partner are willing to give. Relationships are not about what you can receive!

We become so insecure that we build walls around our hearts and we refuse to let anyone in. We find when we do finally open ourselves up, then we only get hurt again. Why is this?  I truly believe it's because our focus is focused on a romantic fantasy and what we think we want verses reality and what we truly need.

For years this subject controlled and confused me. For years I searched and I believed with my whole heart. I held this dream in my heart so tight, but I never realized how tightly I wrapped this dream in chains of insecurity and fear. I never saw myself as a woman who any Godly man would want. I always saw my size and being one of the guys. I never saw the beauty that God created in me. I never saw myself anything more then what my past relationships defined me as.  

I was so rooted in fear and rejection that I never believed my dream could come true. I wanted a healthy and stable relationship,  but I didn't believe it would come. I let my past define this area of my life. It was an idol in many ways, but I never would have admitted it because I would have to then admit I didn't think I was worth it.

I have come to such a place in my life where I have allowed God to chisel me in such a way where I don't really think much about dating or my future husband. I have come to the realization that I'm going to stop looking, stop thinking about it, and stop listening to other's advice around me. In my season of singleness I no longer see it as a waiting, but I'm embracing. I'm embracing every friendship I have and I'm choosing to honor my future husband in those relationships. I'm embracing the every moment I am still alive, and I'm enjoying the journey. 

You see we teach so much about waiting for Boaz, but we don't teach enough about how to become a Ruth or a Boaz. Life is too short to focus on finding the right mate.  I believe as you become Ruth(a woman of God) and you become Boaz (a man of God), then another man of God/woman of God will take notice. You don't have to fixate your every thought just become the best You that You can be. You don't have to search for anyone!