His Grace, mercy and Healing

We all have dreams and plans that we want for our lives. There are certain things we want, and there definitely are things we don't want. What if everything we want is not even close to what God has for us. I never want to push away something God is leading me to just because I don't want it. I say all this because there are many people who are waiting for God to reveal his master plan, but what you don't see is that he has been trying to show you pieces of it for years but it's not what you really want. I will tell you in 2007 I was in a relationship that I thought was it for me, but to be completely honest it was not really my desire. I went with it. After my grandfather's passing and time away to really pray and ask God what it is that He has for my life. I knew it was time to lay down relationship's, the dream of getting married, and even my dream of full time ministry. I laid everything down that July week in Orlando FL, and still to this day God has continued to tell me "let me write the story of your heart." "I am the greatest author of all time, and I know the end from the beginning." "Every author needs a pen, so give me the pen to write your love story." That week in July this is what  the Lord spoke to my heart. "End this and lay it down. Do not pursue anything or anyone for at least a year." "Are you willing to wait for the greatest gift I have for you?" I will tell you the journey has been long, and at times I have not been faithful with my promise, but God is faithful to his promise. I have seen the goodness of his grace on my life where it could have led to unwanted pregnancy and other things, but I praise God for how he picks us up from out of the dirt. He makes beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3). Here I was on my way through Bible school, and I made one mistake that I thought was going to ruin my entire life. I believed that God could not use me anymore. I hated myself, and the hatred led me to alcohol. This was a journey that I wish I had never gone through, but God showed me his mercy, and he showed me his love. I was sitting in church service while the pastor was praying. I heard the holy spirit speak to me " I do not see you for getting drunk, having sex, giving away your just one kiss, depression, or anything else that you may see. This is what I see when I see you." A very clear wooden cross completely lit up with purple lights is the vision I had. "I see royalty." "I see priesthood." "I see nothing but the blood of my son." "When I look at you I see Jesus." Nothing smeared, and nothing shamed, all I see is the holiness to my son's name." That was the first time I had a real understanding of what God's grace is all about. My reason for sharing this is because we all have are falls. In fact there is not one person who has not fallen short, but praise God that he makes All things new. I share this because there is someone who has made a commitment to remain pure, and has had that commitment for a very long time, and either you are being tempted, or you have already fallen into it. God wants you to know that you are HIS Beloved and there is absolutely Nothing that you can do that will separate you from his love. He is your daddy and he is waiting with his arms ready to receive you. Let him pick up the pieces and let him use you. Do not hide in shame or regret. Let him use you. Let him heal you. Be willing to step away from certain people if they are stumbling blocks for you. It took me nearly 7 years to completely cut ties with my ex boyfriend. I continued to put myself in a bondage for nothing more then him to show me how worthless I was. That is not God! He does not want his children to carry the weight or baggage of what he already defeated. You are not alone. I guarantee there are so many surrounding you that are in the same place, but they are too afraid to share it. I am not afraid for this to be known, because my story shows how God is the master of all things, and only He is strong enough to keep commitments. Also the whole time I thought I knew what I wanted until he showed me that his plans and dreams for our lives are so much greater than anything we could ever imagine. The thing is he was speaking to me the whole time, but I wasn't listening. Sometimes we have to set our selves apart from all that is around us, and we need to get quiet before the Lord. Ask him to speak to you, and I guarantee he will. He is waiting for you to ask him!