How to Believe when you can't see

A few months ago I had everything I need and could ever want; I was miserable! I had a big house, unlimited food on the table, benefits, and a salary. I had everything I wish I had right now, but I wasn't happy. I had the opportunity to be the one thing my heart desires most; a mom. I was the caregiver to ten teenage girls, but something wasn't adding up. This maybe have been a challenge to see if I could stand through the hard times, but I didn't stay. I support this organization and all they do with these kids, but in my heart I know there is a better way to reach them. I want to be on their level with them. I want to know their hearts, and meet these kids with where they're at. I sit back and pray for a miracle right now, and the Lord reminds me of all the times he has provided for me. I have been challenged a time before to quit my job and trust him. I absolutely do not recommend anyone doing this UNLESS in you have the leading of the Holy spirit, and you have really sought God with it. I took the step and I had to trust him for everything. There were so many nights I just cried because I didn't know where I was going to live, or for how long I'd be able to stay somewhere. I will tell you this. Everytime! Everytime I had a date to be out, I was out and He had provided a new place for me to stay. He always went before me and prepared the people's hearts to receive me. I learned so much in that season. I almost never had spending money as most my friends did, but money always was there. I remember a breaking point for me was when I was driving down highway 15 and my gas meter's light came on. I told God alright Lord, I believe you can give me gas. You know what is in my bank account and you know I have no money for gas, and I need to get to this place. I am trusting you and releasing my faith right now for you to provide this gas for my car. My heart almost stopped, and tears burst through my eyes when I saw the gas meter go up. Now that is a Daddy moment that was so precious and needed, because in that moment I no longer could try to do anything on my own and I needed to completely trust him. He just reminded me of every home I have lived in, and how without him I would have been on the streets. I always had a roof above my head..Always. Even when I questioned and doubted he always came through and always on time.

Right now I have been currently working two part time jobs which really don't pay much. I gave up the job I really wanted and I trusted God to take the one I didn't want to go back to, but he always has better plans than I. I was offered a supervisor position that just started a month before originally planned. My hours went from 5-6 hours a week driving the bus to a little over 20 hours a week. I have tried to run out and get a third job, but it won't work right now with my schedule. I know he will open a door, because he knows my needs. ANd...... He knows your's too! Trust him and watch what all he can do. If he is telling you to step out, then step out even if you're afraid. Don't quit right away give him time, because you never know what he has been orchestrating in the dark. Darkness only lasts for a season, and then he shows his masterpiece. I still do not know what lays ahead of me for this summer or next fall even, but I know no matter where I go or what I do He's always right there determining my steps! He got this!