Be the girl who Was and Who is to Come
I was the girl who was abused. I was the girl who was over weight and doped up on antidepressants from age 10 until 15. I was the girl who was physically abusive at times. I acted out and I was disrespectful. I was that girl who felt if she didn't take care of herself, then who else would care. I was the girl who had to grow up fast. I was the girl who was lonely and afraid. I was the girl who hid away in the closet to play with her Barbie's because that was a world she could control. I was the girl thrown in and out of psych hospitals. I was the girl who was always in and out of school. I was the girl who ran after love in all the wrong places. I was the girl who was forced to drop out of high school because I was too sick to attend. I was the girl who just wanted my mom to be my mom.
I was that girl, but thank you Jesus for making me who I am Today. I am no longer on pills. I am no longer depressed or suicidal. I no longer allow men to use me and take advantage of me. I no longer hide in the closet. I no longer feel the need to hide who I am, because I am not ashamed to be me. I am the girl who won't let anything stop me from the call God's given me. In high school I dealt with lots of physical sickness, and I was in and out of the operating room. Later I was face to face with the decision of dropping out at the age of 16. Not by choice, but I did. No I am not a victim. I am an overcomer. I soon realized I was so lost and confused and with the help of the wrong crowd I realized I AM getting that diploma, no matter what it takes. I did not want to live like them. God called me to so much more. I went back to that high school and I fought to return. I did, and with one more surgery and lots of missed days, and a second chance program I walked across that stage on my graduation day; No I Ran across that stage. Years passed and I have now finished Bible school. I am not sure where this road is leading me. I have always had a dream of youth ministry since I was 13. I want to serve the kids that everyone else looks down on as the troubled ones. I want to be that blessing just like those youth leaders/teachers were who saved me as a youth. People that fought for me. Those people who knew the truth of what was really in my heart. You know I was all those things, but God has completely turned my whole life around. I have had the opportunity to work in the very school district that once told me I wouldn't ever graduate. I have had the opportunity at a job where I had to face my past abuse, and so much more just in a pre-service routine. God has shown me through this journey. Yes there was lots of pain, but you know what? It is only His beauty that Remains. I don't know what you have gone through, or maybe what you are going through right now, but I am living testimony for you. God has a plan for you, and he has given you a dream that you have forgotten. Ask him to remind you what it is. There is no shame in where you came from. There is only glory to where you are going, because He takes you from glory to glory. There is no shame in where you are at; he is with you and no matter what he will see you through. Trust him to show you the way. Trust him, that if he knows every strand of hair on your head then he knows what you need most. Trust him. Rest your head upon his chest and let him hold you in his arms. He's got you and wherever you came from he's bringing you out of Egypt and into the promise land. Don't be afraid, it does take time but he is never late! Oh yeah I almost forgot to mention....He gave me that relationship I have always longed for with my mom, and now I don't know what I would do with out her. Forgiveness goes along way! He is the restorer and he is ready to restore ALL your brokenness. Trust Him to turn all things around for your good! Remember every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of Heavenly lights where there is no shifting shadow(James1:17). Also He only gives good gifts, so expect Him to do mighty things. Be the girl who Was and who is to come.
I was that girl, but thank you Jesus for making me who I am Today. I am no longer on pills. I am no longer depressed or suicidal. I no longer allow men to use me and take advantage of me. I no longer hide in the closet. I no longer feel the need to hide who I am, because I am not ashamed to be me. I am the girl who won't let anything stop me from the call God's given me. In high school I dealt with lots of physical sickness, and I was in and out of the operating room. Later I was face to face with the decision of dropping out at the age of 16. Not by choice, but I did. No I am not a victim. I am an overcomer. I soon realized I was so lost and confused and with the help of the wrong crowd I realized I AM getting that diploma, no matter what it takes. I did not want to live like them. God called me to so much more. I went back to that high school and I fought to return. I did, and with one more surgery and lots of missed days, and a second chance program I walked across that stage on my graduation day; No I Ran across that stage. Years passed and I have now finished Bible school. I am not sure where this road is leading me. I have always had a dream of youth ministry since I was 13. I want to serve the kids that everyone else looks down on as the troubled ones. I want to be that blessing just like those youth leaders/teachers were who saved me as a youth. People that fought for me. Those people who knew the truth of what was really in my heart. You know I was all those things, but God has completely turned my whole life around. I have had the opportunity to work in the very school district that once told me I wouldn't ever graduate. I have had the opportunity at a job where I had to face my past abuse, and so much more just in a pre-service routine. God has shown me through this journey. Yes there was lots of pain, but you know what? It is only His beauty that Remains. I don't know what you have gone through, or maybe what you are going through right now, but I am living testimony for you. God has a plan for you, and he has given you a dream that you have forgotten. Ask him to remind you what it is. There is no shame in where you came from. There is only glory to where you are going, because He takes you from glory to glory. There is no shame in where you are at; he is with you and no matter what he will see you through. Trust him to show you the way. Trust him, that if he knows every strand of hair on your head then he knows what you need most. Trust him. Rest your head upon his chest and let him hold you in his arms. He's got you and wherever you came from he's bringing you out of Egypt and into the promise land. Don't be afraid, it does take time but he is never late! Oh yeah I almost forgot to mention....He gave me that relationship I have always longed for with my mom, and now I don't know what I would do with out her. Forgiveness goes along way! He is the restorer and he is ready to restore ALL your brokenness. Trust Him to turn all things around for your good! Remember every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of Heavenly lights where there is no shifting shadow(James1:17). Also He only gives good gifts, so expect Him to do mighty things. Be the girl who Was and who is to come.
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